


The Letter

by Commander_and_Captain



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, disgusting old boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-20
Updated: 2014-08-20
Packaged: 2018-02-13 23:53:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2170110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Commander_and_Captain/pseuds/Commander_and_Captain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A picture is worth a thousand words</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Letter

**Author's Note:**

> Originally an RP, we hope that you like the converted version just as much as the original RP!

Everyone felt bad for the cameraman. He had been assigned to take pictures of all of the commanding officers in each legion- the scouting legion was no exception to this rule. The pictures would be used to document the military for that year, so many people died in the military it had become a yearly thing. 

“Just get on your hands and knees, Hanji, we don’t want to have to take a full body shot of Erwin just to get a picture of him and Levi together.” Mike suggested coolly, receiving a death glare immediately after by Levi.  
Hanji got down on her hands and knees and looked over at the shorter man sulking in the corner, “Well, get on shorty!”  
“Why?” Levi growled, “I don’t see why I should break your back just for a stupid picture.”  
“Just humor Mike for a little bit, Levi.” Erwin sighed exasperatedly.  
Levi glared morosely at the group as he clambered onto Hanji’s back. She was shaking with contained laughter.  
“Hmmmm, it’s not too shabby up here, although the elevation change is enough to kill me...” Levi muttered with a straight face.  
“I could put you on my shoulders.” Erwin smirked at Levi, whose head now reached above Erwin’s shoulders.  
“Is this picture even going to work? Hanji, hold still!” Levi barked as she shook even more with laughter at Erwin’s comments.  
Everyone in the room suddenly went quiet at the sound of Levi breaking out in a sudden fit of laughter.  
Erwin doubled over from laughing soon after, “Here, let’s try this.” He slung his arm around Levi’s shoulders, “Quick, take the picture before we fall!” Erwin chuckled.  
“Erwin you idiot you’re pulling me off of Hanji!” Levi exclaimed as he felt himself falling sideways.  
Mike could be seen covering his face with a hand and trying to contain himself as the cameraman took the picture.  
“Erwin!” Levi gasped as he fell forward and both he and the tall commander fell to the floor.  
“That was fun.” Erwin smirked.  
“Fun?!?” Levi sat up and looked down at the commander and punched his shoulder, “I’ll show you fun!” He immediately placed his hands in Erwin’s hair and began to mess it up as much as he could.  
“Really now?” Erwin grinned as he reached to Levi’s sides and began to tickle him.  
“OI” Levi slapped Erwin’s hands away. “You aren’t allowed in my bubble in public.”  
Mike and Hanji exchanged looks as they remained oblivious to Levi’s statement.  
“What?” Levi growled as he looked over at them.  
“So if we’re not in public? Hmmm.” Erwin smiled wickedly, “off we go.” he said as he picked Levi up off the floor.  
“I HAVE WORK TO DO YOU FREAKY OLD MAN.”  
Hanji and Mike couldn’t hold themselves together any longer, bursting into tears of laughter.  
“ERWIN. ERWIN NO.” Levi protested loudly.  
“ERWIN YES.” Erwin laughed devilishly, leaving Hanji rolling on the floor in an uncontrollable fit of laughter.  
“I swear to all that is holy.” Levi paused as they exited the room, “like me, for instance…. I HAVE RIGHTS!” Levi exclaimed as he struggled in Erwin’s iron grip. “I HAVE A RIGHT TO HAVE BOTH FEET ON THE GROUND!” Levi finished angrily.  
“Really now? Since when was that a human right?” Erwin snorted as he looked down at the ball of anger in his arms. “And since you are holy then you should not be walking on tainted human grounds.” Erwin finished smoothly as they entered his room.  
Levi sighed and put a hand over his face.  
“Give up?” Erwin smiled.  
“Okay.” Levi gave in, no longer struggling in Erwin’s grasp.  
Erwin sighed loudly,  
“What?” Levi muttered as Erwin set him down on the bed.  
“You should smile more often.” Erwin explained.  
“Why?” Levi raised an eyebrow, his face remaining cold and depressive.  
“Because a smile looks good on you.” Erwin shrugged as he sat down next to Levi.  
Levi rolled his eyes, “I don’t smile because Hanji said I look like a serial killer when I do.”  
“That’s not true.” Erwin sighed, glaring in Hanji’s general direction- right through the walls.  
“You say that because you just want me to smile for you, and I’m saying no.” Levi growled bluntly.  
“But you were laughing just a while ago and the cameraman didn’t say anything about you looking like a serial killer…” Erwin tried.  
“That’s because he probably knows I’m a serial killer and doesn’t dare say anything.” Levi spat back.  
Erwin sighed, “Trust me, you look nothing like a serial killer.”  
Levi let his head sag between his shoulders and looked over at Erwin, attempting a small smile.  
“See? A smile looks nice on you.” Erwin grinned genuinely.  
Levi’s smile shrunk away and he shook his head, “Whatever, Erwin.”  
“Definitely not a serial killer.” Erwin added helpfully.  
“I may not be a serial killer, but you’re a murderer.” Levi murmured.  
“I know.” Erwin sighed, “I send a lot of people to their deaths. Why are you pointing this out now?” Erwin asked slowly.  
“No-no, you made that all depressing. I was going to finish that with something a little lighter.” Levi snorted. “You’re a murderer because you’ve stopped my heart.” He tried to add a smile at the end, but was struggling.  
“Well I feel stupid now.” Erwin sighed, relieved that the subject had been changed.  
Levi laughed softly.  
“Not funny.” Erwin glared.  
“You’re an adorable man.” Levi smirked.  
“I’m supposed to be handsome, not adorable.” Erwin interjected haughtily.  
“Anyone with a pocket sized boyfriend is adorable.” Levi snorted at Erwin.  
Erwin paused, “I’m not going to argue with that.”  
Levi managed another smile.  
“So…” Erwin turned to face Levi better, “you finally admit you’re pocket sized?” he smiled broadly.  
“Don’t tell anyone else, okay?” Levi muttered quietly, obviously embarrassed at the idea of someone else knowing that he had said such a thing.  
“Don’t worry, it’s safe with me.” Erwin chuckled, “I’ll take it to my grave.” 

There was a long silence between them, Levi stared at his hands while Erwin watched him.  
“What are you thinking?” Erwin asked softly.  
“I…” Levi started, but shook his head, “It’s nothing.”  
“What? Won’t you tell me?” Erwin pressed.  
Levi stood up and started to head out of the room, not bothering to answer. Erwin followed suit very quickly, worried what might have happened.  
“Levi? Where are you going?” Erwin called as Levi crawled out of the nearest window and disappeared on to the roof of the building. Erwin sighed and followed him onto the roof, grabbing the top shingles as he hauled himself over the top.  
“Why are you still following me? Don’t you even know how to read body language?” Levi spat angrily.  
“I do, but I’m determined to find out what you had to say.” Erwin huffed.  
“It’s not important!” Levi growled as he walked across the peak of the roof away from Erwin.  
“Levi! Can’t you at least tell me why you don’t want to tell me anymore?” Erwin called, “Stop being such a stubborn introvert and come back and talk!” Erwin demanded, following Levi as quickly as he could (with much less grace).  
“It just doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t need to ask it anymore.” Levi insisted.  
“Then why did you just storm out of the room like there was a problem?”  
Levi looked away, his gaze heading toward the tree that had grown up right next to the building.  
“There isn’t a problem, can’t I just climb on to a roof without being questioned?” Levi threw back, bending his knees as if to jump across the small gap between the building and the tree.  
“No. You only try to avoid me when you’re upset.” Erwin countered, finally coming up behind him. Before Erwin could make to grab Levi, he skirted the edge of the roof and grabbed the nearest branch.  
“Okay, this is becoming ridiculous.” Erwin muttered.  
“It became ridiculous when you followed me onto the roof.” Levi snorted as he began to climb down the tree.  
Erwin jumped the gap and held onto the trunk of the tree to balance his bulk, “No, it became ridiculous when YOU climbed on to the roof.”  
“Don’t patronize me.” Levi muttered as he hit the ground. Erwin slid down the trunk and landed fast onto the ground next to Levi, shocking even himself. Erwin reached out and grabbed Levi by his shirt and pulled him back.  
“I refuse to let go until you talk.” Erwin threatened.  
Levi jerked his shoulders out of Erwin’s grip and turned to look at the tall man, “No, okay! I’m sorry, laughing and smiling, I almost forgot about everything. You make me feel… different, but nothing else has changed! I can’t just flush my mind down the toilet and pretend that I can be swept away into a lovely bliss and ecstasy! I can’t do it! What I was going to say is irrelevant because it doesn’t matter.” Levi took a deep, shaky breath and stared at Erwin with a piercing gaze. “Why do you even like a stupid short guy like me? I was covered in dirt and muck and you dragged me from the streets- what in the world caused you to do that?” He finished icily and walked off toward the horse stalls.  
“Hm.” Erwin murmured to himself as he followed after the captain. “I trust you because you’ve earned my trust.” Erwin hurried faster to catch up to Levi, who had lengthened his stride and quickened his pace.  
“I like you because you’re honest. You don’t change and you listen to and trust me. You’ve shown me the world in a different way. I used to think everything was fine the way it was. Seeing yo uint ehs treets the way I did showed me that what I saw was flawed. What in the world could stop me from dragging you away from the streets? I wanted-- I needed-- your help, so that I could try and make a better world.” Erwin took a breath as the stall door was shut in his face. “I like you because you’re not just a stupid short guy, you’re my pocket sized boyfriend, and I wouldn’t trade you for anything. I wish you could see that.” Erwin called loudly through the wooden door, not sure if he was even being listened to. 

Erwin listened inside the barn for a while before opening the wooden door. He heard a shuffling from the last stall on the right. It was the stall for Levi’s horse. “Levi? Are you okay?” Erwin asked in a calm whisper. There was no reply, but Erwin opened the stall door anyway. Levi’s horse looked up from where it stood and watched Erwin as the commander sat down next to the curled up form of the small captain.  
Levi looked up from his position and stared at Erwin, “You are so freaking persistent.” He muttered.  
“I try.” Erwin breathed.  
“I know.” Levi replied and took a deep breath, “Erwin… Do you think I’m brave?”  
“I know you’re brave.”  
“I’m not. I’m a coward.”  
“How do you figure?”  
“Titans are scary as crap.” Levi said, seemingly changing the subject.  
“Yes, they are, but you still fight them.” Erwin said, rubbing Levi’s back.  
“But I didn’t.” Levi paused, “Not in my dream that is.” He looked down and buried his face in his knees.  
“Another nightmare?” Erwin asked, knowing that Levi was prone to vivid nightmares.  
Levi nodded.  
“It was all in a dream, Levi, and even if it wasn’t not being able to fight them does not make you a coward.”  
“But I couldn’t…” Levi’s voice got quieter, and Erwin wasn’t able to hear the end of the sentence.  
“I couldn’t save you!” Levi cried, moving into a soft sob.  
Erwin gently grabbed Levi’s head and held it to his chest, “Listen.” He said holding Levi close to his beating heart, “It was all a dream. My heart still beats, and you can hear it now.” Erwin pulled Levi closer and wrapped his arms around him tighter.  
“But…!”  
“I’m still alive, and I don’t plan on dying anytime soon.”  
Levi couldn’t speak. He was gasping too hard in his attempts not to cry.  
“But-!” He tried to calm down, but to no avail, “I’ve already lost so much! And who’s to say you won’t be gone tomorrow?” Levi’s body was trembling from trying to hold back his tears.  
“Don’t be afraid. Even if I’m gone tomorrow, I need you to carry on.” Erwin buried his face into Levi’s shoulder, “I know you’ve lost a lot, and you’ve held up through it all. You need to know that it’s okay to cry for what’s gone. It’s all okay, but you still need to carry on. If I die, I need you to promise me that you will carry on. Carry my memory with you, and break free from this cage that holds us.”  
“I don’t know if I can do that…” Levi looked at Erwin, “The moment you are gone is the moment I die.”  
Erwin’s eyes filled with sorrow as he lifted his head and looked at Levi, and kissed his forehead lightly.  
“You’ll have to. If I die, let that be my final request. Carry on when I join the Black Parade.”  
Levi curled up against Erwin’s broad chest, “My… what I was going to say…” He paused, “I’ll tell you.”  
“I’m all ears.”  
Levi braced himself, gathering the courage to speak again, “I- could you-” He stopped to take a deep breath before continuing, “Can you write me a letter?”  
“What kind of letter would you like?” Erwin asked, rubbing Levi’s back.  
“A letter for me to read if you die. Something precious to remember you by. Just, SOMETHING.”  
“That’s all?” Erwin smiled lightly, “I’ll get right on it.”  
“Don’t tell Hanji.” Levi added.  
“Wouldn’t dream of it.”  
Levi stayed silent for a moment before looking up at Erwin, “It hurts.” He mumbled.  
“I know it does.” Erwin said, pulling Levi closer.  
“I mean crying hurts. I can’t breathe.” Levi gasped as Erwin started rubbing his back again.  
“It’s okay. I know it hurts, but it’s time to let it out. I’m here for you. You don’t have to hold on anymore. You can let go.”  
“But why…?” Levi choked out.  
“Because no one can hold on forever.” He paused, “Not even humanity’s strongest.”  
“Why do you stay when you know I’m secretly broken? If any of my subordinates ever saw me like this they would never be able to feel confidence in me again- so why are you…?” Levi looked at Erwin’s face.  
“I am because I care deeply for you. You’ve been there for me whenever I needed you, and I trust you. I stay because I know that you are only human, and humans break.” Tears started to form in Erwin’s eyes, “I stay because I’m selfish. I can’t stand the thought of my life without you. You are my strength. You are the beat of my heart, and you are my other half. I stay because my life is nothing without you.”  
Levi didn’t reply, but instead chose to sob into Erwin’s chest. Erwin held him without saying a word until he got it all out.

It was a long time before Levi finally stopped shaking in Erwin’s grasp. “I’m sorry.”  
“For what? You have nothing to be sorry for.” Erwin murmured in reply.  
“I just… didn’t know that I would cry for so long.” Levi sighed, his eyes drooping.  
“You’ve held it in for a long time, there’s no reason for you to be sorry.” Erwin stood up slowly, picking Levi up with him, “Let’s head back.”  
Erwin slid open the barn door and moved slowly across the clearing toward the scouting legion’s building. Erwin looked down at Levi, who had fallen asleep in his arms, his head lolling to the side. Erwin hummed contentedly at this sight and turned a corner, heading toward the entrance to the building.  
Hanji appeared in the first hallway Erwin walked into. The look on her face immediately worried Erwin, and he made a motion for her to be quiet. “Not a word.”  
She just grinned wickedly at these words, which made Erwin sigh inwardly. “Hanji, NOT A WORD.” He glared at her.  
Hanji snorted loudly as she approached the commander and the sleeping captain.  
“Hanji!” Erwin barked in a harsh whisper. “Do I need to remind you of the state you were in when you first joined the scouting legion?”  
Hanji’s smile faded, but Erwin could still see the light of mischief behind her glasses. “And…?” she asked all too loudly.  
“Shh!” Erwin scolded, glancing down at Levi to make sure he hadn’t woken up, “It’s been a long day and I don’t think he’s been getting enough sleep.”  
“Well of course not!” She exclaimed loudly, “I’ve been having him help me with my experiments because Moblit is sick and he insisted I have someone help me! So, naturally, he’s been up all night with me for almost a week now… although I don’t think his lack of sleep came directly from that. He has terrible insomnia you know.” she finished, her voice seemed to be amplified to Erwin because even as she finished Levi stirred in his arms.  
“Hanji, if you know he doesn’t sleep then why are you trying to wake him up!?” Erwin glared menacingly, “If you don’t lower your voice then I swear I’ll lock down your lab for a month.”  
This seemed to do the trick, because Hanji closed her mouth and went to turn away, “I’ll… be back to check on you later then?” she whispered in a semi-quiet voice.  
“Good idea.” Erwin nodded approvingly, “Oh, Hanji?” he drilled his gaze into hers so that she knew he was dead serious, “If I hear about this later, you’re in big trouble.”  
Hanji nodded and turned away, skirting the corner and leaving Erwin and Levi alone again. 

Erwin arrived at his room and managed to make it to his bed without turning on any lights. He set Levi down on his bed, “You can stay with me tonight so no one will disturb you, and so I can be here if you need me.”  
Levi shifted and cracked open an eye, “I always need you.”  
Erwin sighed, disappointed to see Levi had woken up. “I need you more.” He said as he lay down next to Levi and hugged him close.  
“I can live with that.” Levi mumbled hoarsely, his vocal chords completely shot, “I don’t have the energy to argue anyway.” Levi closed his eyes, murmuring the words as he fell asleep again. Erwin pulled the unconscious captain even closer and kissed his forehead, “Sleep well, Levi.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Levi,  
You asked for a letter, and so you will get one. I’m afraid thought that I’m not very good at things like this, but for you I will try.  
If you need something to remember me by then remember me by the nights we spent together. The nights we spent on the roof, looking at the stars because we couldn’t sleep. Remember all the times we sparred together because no one else would go against either of us.  
If I die, remember all the times we spent together. The times when it was just us, and the times when Hanji and Mike joined us in our laughter. Remember all the good times we had (even when you made fun of my bolo tie), and forget the rest.  
\- Erwin  
Remember my eyes by the sky,  
And I’ll remember yours by the silver that saved my life.  
Remember me by the nights we spent talking,  
And I’ll remember you by the nights we spent in peaceful slumber.  
The time we spent together is ours,  
And no one can take those memories from us.

**Author's Note:**

> If there are issues with the text please let us know in the comments!


End file.
